Shout out and Thank you to Drew Tupper. He spent an hour coaching me . It was the single best 1 hour I’ve invested in my role as a father and family man. I only cried 2 or 3 times through the interaction…
Through his motivational interviewing techniques, he led me to eye opening things about myself and how I interact with my children.
I realized that I wasn’t doing things wrong per se, but putting too much emphasis on raising good independent, strong, self reliant human beings. By doing that without the larger foundation of connection/love with me, I’m just pushing them away. Driving a wedge even between my wife and I with our different parenting styles. I had thought by preparing them and raising self reliant kids, that attention and teaching lessons is enough to feel the love. It’s not for a child, at least my children at this stage.
My wife had said it before that I just need to love them and not make everything a lesson. But until Drew worked through it with me, it didn’t click.
My takeaway this is to simply love them. Purposefully let go of teaching so many lessons right away. By doing this I think I can create that habit of love and a gentle response to just about anything. There is plenty of time to teach them lessons but never enough time to love them or possible to love them too much.
Already, I see it paying dividends. I’m better able to listen to the unmet needs of my children that trigger their tantrums or outbursts. Those outbursts are deescalated faster and it has been easier to find that common ground.
I am so thankful for Drew.