Dads often say that lack of patience and anger is their top challenge. It was my top challenge too.
Something that helped me was to look at leadership. After-all, parenting is leadership. And truth be told there are better leaders than others. There are leaders who are respected, listened to, and celebrated. Could it the same be true for parenting? Why not.
I looked at how the best leaders were doing it and then I applied that to my parenting. It was a game changer.
The best leaders were focused on influencing and empowering those under them. On the other hand, it was clear that insecure and ineffective leaders focused on controlling and containing those under them. The top leaders were so confident that they didn’t feel the need to control. Lousy leaders were fearful and threatened.
A lot of my anger was coming from the fact that I was not a good leader. This is just the truth. I was trying to control my kids. And, I based my success as a parent on how well I could control them. I was on a roller coaster. This was a no-win situation I’d put myself in. I was defining my success from the outside in.
I decided to switch things up and decided to copy the best leaders. I focused on building strong relationships, earning respect and trust, and regulating my own behavior. I held myself to a high standard.
The result were night and day. I went from ineffective and angry to confident and in control. My kids totally responded. I felt like a true leader.
It is possible! If you are angry and loosing patience, trust me there is another way. It takes some willingness to reevaluate your leadership, but I believe it’s worth it. A happy home is worth it.
Simon Sineck on Leadership – when those you lead feel safe, there will be trust and cooperation. Do your kids feel safe?