The time I spent with Drew was transformative. Our conversations lead me to further develop my own self worth and value. I found my voice and it is confident, strong, and loving. He guided me in ways that were kind, yet firm, to get me past deeply rooted patterns that have hindered my growth. His…
There is a phenomenon that the wounding you experienced in childhood stays with you until you recognize it, take responsibility for it, feel it, grieve it, and then decide you’d like to show up in a different way. You choose and learn new ways of being that support you in acting from from a place…
If relationships are what life is all about, then what is the fundamental skill of being in relationship? I think, it is one thing. Presence. Does the person across from you feel that you are present with them? That you are focused on them, paying attention, and caring about them? I can’t imagine a strong…
She wanted him to share in sensitive ways, to open up, to be vulnerable. She wanted to sit and have meaningful conversations with him. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to sit with him and have long and lovely talks. So long as he did it in a way that she wanted.…
Kiku would shoot me a look, and then I’d jump in. Activated and ready to defend her stress and emotionality. You see, her stress triggered my stress. I jumped in to protect her, but to also protect myself from feeling stress.So, when she was having a hard time with our son, all she would have…
Do you ever get a rush of panic or shame come up inside of you when you think you might have done something wrong and/or upset someone? I think it’s a learned response to the arbitrary, unpredictable, and intense shame put on kids by adults if and when an adult decides that this child has…
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Tired of not being listened to? Tired of being ignored by your kids? Here are things you can do to improve your communication with your children and to have them pay more attention when you speak. ● Connect before you direct. Connection governs cooperation. Be interested in your child and what your child is doing.…
Leveraging children teaches them how to use leverage. I’m talking when we as parents us emotional leveraging, physical forcing, taking stuff away, and threatening. The will lean all about leveraging through their interactions and I they’ll get REALLY good at it. They will eventually find your leverage point and start using it. There will come…
“Maternal gatekeeping,” when moms control dads interactions with their children, and decisions about children. Some moms can gatekeep access to kids and control how things are done with respect to the children. They can assume a position of ultimate authority and disregard what dad says. They can disregard valid concerns about how the kids are…
The Pendulum Swings Wildly for some of us. Empathetic parents (and/or parents that struggle with boundaries and self regulation) can struggle with the Nasty Swinging Pendulum. Empathetic parents want to be attentive. They want to meet the needs of their children and to be there for them. But we also want to have some boundaries.…