Let’s say your partner is attacking you personally, criticizing you, and blaming you… and you realize in the moment that she is doing so because she is hurt and unable to communicate in a healthy and mature way, then this puts you in a leadership position. If you have the wherewithal and awareness to understand…
WHAT SHE WON’T TELL YOU – for the Nice/Anxious GuySomething needs to change. She is pulling away. The divorce word has come up. Your confidence is shaken.She isn’t happy with you. And you know it. You can feel that she doesn’t trust you. And perhaps rightfully so.You know that you have not been at your…
If you are people pleasing in your marriage it will mean that you won’t speak for or stand for your desires. You will suppress what you want and be oriented to what your partner wants. And it will mean that you will just hope that your partner can read your mind and then meet your…
We can get angry when we feel victimized. It makes sense. Anger is a mobilization of power. But what happens is that power often gets misplaced upon children. For example: Parent goes to work, has some tough interactions… kids pay for it later when parent comes home. The good news is that if you become…
The time I spent with Drew was transformative. Our conversations lead me to further develop my own self worth and value. I found my voice and it is confident, strong, and loving. He guided me in ways that were kind, yet firm, to get me past deeply rooted patterns that have hindered my growth. His…
There is a phenomenon that the wounding you experienced in childhood stays with you until you recognize it, take responsibility for it, feel it, grieve it, and then decide you’d like to show up in a different way. You choose and learn new ways of being that support you in acting from from a place…
If relationships are what life is all about, then what is the fundamental skill of being in relationship? I think, it is one thing. Presence. Does the person across from you feel that you are present with them? That you are focused on them, paying attention, and caring about them? I can’t imagine a strong…
She wanted him to share in sensitive ways, to open up, to be vulnerable. She wanted to sit and have meaningful conversations with him. She wanted to be close to him. She wanted to sit with him and have long and lovely talks. So long as he did it in a way that she wanted.…
Kiku would shoot me a look, and then I’d jump in. Activated and ready to defend her stress and emotionality. You see, her stress triggered my stress. I jumped in to protect her, but to also protect myself from feeling stress.So, when she was having a hard time with our son, all she would have…
Do you ever get a rush of panic or shame come up inside of you when you think you might have done something wrong and/or upset someone? I think it’s a learned response to the arbitrary, unpredictable, and intense shame put on kids by adults if and when an adult decides that this child has…
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