Parenting Blog

I don’t think praising or external rewards will ruin our children. Being recognized for accomplishments from your family, community, and work place is commonly done, and can be done tactfully. If done in an appreciative and genuine manner, it tends to be more connecting than bestowing approval upon someone. The problem is that praise has…

Read more On Praise

I hope to teach my children… To love themselves, be true to themselves, be responsible for themselves, and believe in themselves…and then to act from this place, always. Then, to love others, be true to others, empower others, and believe in others…and then act from this place, always. Parents teach this by BEING this. How…

Read more Most Important Lessons

I knew that I wasn’t providing the best, most stable and loving environment possible. I wanted to do better. I implemented exercises to increase my self awareness and self control. I outlined my values, and implemented strategies to stick to them. I got on the right path and still regularly reflect upon my hopes and…

Read more When I First Tried to Change

Whenever I lose my cool, this is what I remember. I own my behavior fully and completely. Owning my behavior means not making excuses for it. Owning my behavior means not blaming someone else for it. Owning my behavior focuses on my actions, not on the actions of someone else. The reason why I lost…

Read more Full Ownership Fathering

Looking back, I had no idea that having kids would bring to the surface so many intense emotions and judgement that was simmering inside of me. But, kids have this remarkable ability to poke at our sore spots relentlessly. It felt like my hot buttons were constantly being pushed. I was not ready for this.…

Read more Triggered

When I finally stopped blaming my kids and my situation for my poor parenting choices, I felt a heavy weight of responsibility. These are the thoughts that ran through my head: “What have I done?” “Why is this so hard?” “Why can’t I control myself?” “Why can’t I be better than I am being?” “I…

Read more Reversing the Damage

My children’s behaviour was really important to me. I saw it as a direct reflection on me. Well behaved kids equaled good parenting is what I thought. Poorly behaved kids equaled bad parenting. I have come to recognize this as an insecure approach to parenting and I’ll tell you why. What I thought was strong, turned…

Read more Truth be Told

I’ve been part of various men’s groups, retreats and workshops. I’ve noticed an overriding theme that is consistent. It is this: growth comes from emotional safety (acceptance), personal responsibility (internal motivation), and consistent support (loving accountability). In these groups, how we deal with people is to offer listening and then support. The listening is non-judgmental and…

Read more Supportive Homes – The real