😟😤𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍 𝚘𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚜: 𝙳𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚡𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚎 (𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦)😤😤 Write a letter to yourself expressing, empathy, validation, and compassion…to you.I know that you might think that you have to be hard on you, but more being hard on yourself likely isn’t going to get you where you want to go. It may…

Read more Compassion opens doors you never knew existed

Have you ever had a hard time setting limits with your child? I have. I have had a hard time wondering what kind of limit is appropriate and also being consistent, and helping my children understand the bigger picture. So, I created a series of questions to get me/you thinking. Answer these questions and you’ll…

Read more Setting Limits with your Child

In the coaching I do, I talk about behavior issues with parents.   Most of the behavior issues I’ve helped parents with seem to get resolved when parents learn how to consistently meet the core needs of their children. These three needs seem to pop up again and again: Connection (love, affection, attention, validation) Predictability…

Read more Behavior Problem or a Needs Problem?

It is because they are scared and feel threatened. Really? From a child? It’s hard to imagine that a child’s behavior could have me feel threatened. But that’s what happens when I react angrily. Most parents miss this and as a result miss out on addressing the root cause of their impatience or reactivity. The…

Read more Why Parents Get Triggered

Do you get annoyed or angry when your child says “No” to you. “No” from a child can feel like a threat and it’s because of this. Power differential, status, and ego. Those on the lower rungs of the hierarchy ladder (Children, among others) are not expected to, or allowed to have much of their…

Read more When a child says “NO” to you.

Let’s say my son gets short with my daughter. He uses a crappy tone with her, he’s judgy, and tells her off for something. And maybe this has been happening regularly. Now… My tendency here can be to protect her and to tell him off. To be short with him, and snappy. (to use a…

Read more Meeting Misbehavior with Love

When the brain feels threatened it looks for the target of that threat, and reacts to it. Much of the work of parenting is to monitor and regulate our own state so that we do not mistake our children for threats. The difference between a regulated brain and threatened brain is staggering. A threatened person…

Read more The Self Regulated Parent

Humility is a gift, and it’s when I’ve learned the most, about myself and this world. But many of us run from this, the chance to be humbled. We built up defenses to avoid the very thing that can set us free and crack us open. These defenses stop us from experiencing the greatest gifts…

Read more Humility allows for learning

Let’s say I was able to go back in time and talk to my old self. Past Drew would not like all this talk of self-regulation and personal responsibility. It was clear to Past Drew that the kids were the problem. Past Drew spent a lot of time worried about the behavior of his children.…

Read more Future Drew Meets Past Drew

Toxic parenting leads to toxic relationships later on. How kids learn to relate when they are young repeats itself later on in adult partner relationships. Toxic parenting sounds like this: – You are making me sad/frustrated…. – Do this for mommy – You’re not sad. Stop crying. You are just trying to…. – If you…

Read more Reap What We Sow