“When my child whines and cries it drives me nuts and I want to either shut them down or avoid them” It looks like the child’s distress causes you distress. If we parents (when we were children) never learned to fully SELF regulate, to identify and balance our own emotions, then we as adults will…
There are no Tips and Tricks to get your child to stop being rude, behaving badly and to be kinder and more cooperative. The problem is bigger than TIPs or tricks. The truth is (with few exceptions) this: If there is an ongoing challenge in your home with behavior, is it is deeper than simple…
ππ€πΏππππππ π ππ πππ ππππ ππ ππππππππππ: π³π ππππ ππ‘ππππππ (πͺπ§ πΊπ°πΆ’π₯ ππͺπ¬π¦)π€π€ Write a letter to yourself expressing, empathy, validation, and compassion…to you.I know that you might think that you have to be hard on you, but more being hard on yourself likely isn’t going to get you where you want to go. It may…
Have you ever had a hard time setting limits with your child? I have. I have had a hard time wondering what kind of limit is appropriate and also being consistent, and helping my children understand the bigger picture. So, I created a series of questions to get me/you thinking. Answer these questions and you’ll…
In the coaching I do, I talk about behavior issues with parents. Most of the behavior issues I’ve helped parents with seem to get resolved when parents learn how to consistently meet the core needs of their children. These three needs seem to pop up again and again: Connection (love, affection, attention, validation) Predictability…
It is because they are scared and feel threatened. Really? From a child? It’s hard to imagine that a child’s behavior could have me feel threatened. But that’s what happens when I react angrily. Most parents miss this and as a result miss out on addressing the root cause of their impatience or reactivity. The…
Do you get annoyed or angry when your child says “No” to you. “No” from a child can feel like a threat and it’s because of this. Power differential, status, and ego. Those on the lower rungs of the hierarchy ladder (Children, among others) are not expected to, or allowed to have much of their…
Let’s say my son gets short with my daughter. He uses a crappy tone with her, he’s judgy, and tells her off for something. And maybe this has been happening regularly. Now… My tendency here can be to protect her and to tell him off. To be short with him, and snappy. (to use a…
When the brain feels threatened it looks for the target of that threat, and reacts to it. Much of the work of parenting is to monitor and regulate our own state so that we do not mistake our children for threats. The difference between a regulated brain and threatened brain is staggering. A threatened person…
Humility is a gift, and it’s when I’ve learned the most, about myself and this world. But many of us run from this, the chance to be humbled. We built up defenses to avoid the very thing that can set us free and crack us open. These defenses stop us from experiencing the greatest gifts…
