Understand this —> All of your behavior comes from your emotion. All of your reactive, angry, short tempered behavior comes from challenging emotions that you are having a hard time recognizing and processing. If you learn how to recognize and process your emotions, you will master your emotionsโฆ.and your behavior. This is so much better…
(Especially if your relationship leans toward too close, comfortableโฆ and codependent) 1. Become attractive to yourself. It will be hard for you to feel sexy and for your partner to find you sexy, if you donโt feel attractive to you. What do you have to do to become sexy to you? 2. Get resourced outside…
Let’s say my son gets short with my daughter. He uses a crappy tone with her, he’s judgy, and tells her off for something. Now… a tendency of mine can be to protect her and to tell him off. To be short with him, and snappy. (to use a crappy tone really). Do you see…
If you are a nice guy, you likely are not in a sexually fulfilling, or otherwise fulfilling relationship. Why? – Nice guys seek approval above all else– Nice guys are needy– Nice guys are indirect– Nice guys are actually manipulative and controlling– Nice guys are transactional– Nice guys lack self love and confidence– Nice guys…
You want to raise children who will come to you when they get into trouble. You want to raise kids who you have a good relationship with, especially as your child gets older and life gets more and more challenging to navigate for the child. You want your children to be able to trust you…
Here is the way I deal with my kids upset when it occurs at home: I Calm Myself: I think to myself; โI am safe. I can handle this. Show your child what calm looks like.โ I Connect with my Child: I move closer slowly. I make eye contact. I smile gently. I touch an…
If we do not empower strong willed children to their own autonomy and freedom, they will find something to push against and will likely and eventually push away from the parent. They will fight for their freedom and autonomy if we do not grant it. Good for them! ๐ช They will build a case against the parent…
A first question to ask is why is the child closed down? Opening up happens in an environment of trust and safety. Closing down happens when safety and trust are not present. So how does safety and trust get threatened? Children close down because of feeling judged and having oneโs experience/feelings diminished or invalidated. At…
๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐๐ง ๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐’๐ฌ ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐๐ญ? ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง. ๐๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐๐ซ๐๐๐ข๐๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐ ๐ง๐๐๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐๐ฏ๐ข๐๐!! Here is my advice: Accept that in those meltdown moments, you doing “nothing” is often better than doing something. Your job is to be present and…
Our feelings come from our thinking about a situation, or the meaning we personally make of it. (Often, this interpretation of a situation, the “meaning making” happens so quickly that it is hard to catch) When you get upset and reactive with your child, you have made meaning of their behavior, and it’s not a…
Read more Your Thinking determines your Feelings…and then your Action.
