Please be gentle and kind with me. I am young. I am learning. Have patience please. I will learn. I am developing and it’s hard sometimes to listen and to remember. I don’t mean to disrespect you or anger you. That is never my intention. My motives are pure and innocent. I don’t want to…
For those who struggle with anger or reactivity, here are 2 strategies that help. It’s super simple. There is more to emotional mastery, but this is a great start. 1. Identify your emotions, especially when you’re feeling angry, sad, upset, worried, or other challenging emotions. Take a productive pause, take a breath, and name your…
If you are a leader and model to your children at home (and you are), what kind of tone are you setting for them to follow? How are they learning to think, feel and act based on what they see from you. If you were to observe you, what would you say? What kind of…
One of the most counterproductive things men can do is to promote the idea that we don’t have emotions, don’t feel, or feel less than others. It’s often seen as manly not to care, not to be sad, scared, or overwhelmed. To deny the existence of something is to remain unaware of it. In the…
Your voice, the words you speak, and HOW you speak them, becomes the voice inside you child’s head. Is it uplifting, hopeful, loving? Your voice will set them on a trajectory for the rest of their lives and will be the basis for if they like themselves or not. What is your voice saying? What…
Read more The Parent’s Voice is the Single Most Important Thing to a Child
Quick to label someone a narcissist? It can be tempting to label someone a narcissist, but there might be a perspective that is more accurate, more useful even. I’ll get to it in a minute, but here is the drawback of the term narcissist as I see it. The term narcissist is almost like terminal…
Two weeks of “Mature and Positive Parent” isn’t going to cut it. Kids need to know that the positivity and maturity is CONSISTENT and trustable. Yes, it could take months or years to gain back the trust of a child who has been hurt, blamed, shamed, who has been an outlet for the parent’s pain.…
The top ways to address conflict in general are to: 1. Attend to your child’s emotional needs: safety, connection/attention, autonomy… The more we meet the natural needs of a child, the less they will have to protest via their behavior. 2. Model cooperative and problem solving behavior as the parent…The more we set the tone…
“You are wrong. I don’t understand you. You don’t make sense”…is toxic messaging inside a relationship. It leads to relationship breakdown whether it’s a spouse or child. If you invalidate someone enough, they will pull away from you, if only energetically. Yes, you might still be in relationship, or live in the same home, but…
In a triggered moment (a while back), I noticed a quick and yet powerful thought that occured that led to my own reactive behavior. If you blink you’ll miss it. I played detective. I looked at what behavior of my child’s (or partner’s) put me over the edge. This led me to discover the…
