𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐈 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝’𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐦𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐮𝐩𝐬𝐞𝐭? 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐦, 𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐧. 𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐞!! Here is my advice: Accept that in those meltdown moments, you doing “nothing” is often better than doing something. Your job is to be present and…

Read more How to Stop a Tantrum

Our feelings come from our thinking about a situation, or the meaning we personally make of it. (Often, this interpretation of a situation, the “meaning making” happens so quickly that it is hard to catch) When you get upset and reactive with your child, you have made meaning of their behavior, and it’s not a…

Read more Your Thinking determines your Feelings…and then your Action.

There are some overt ways that we can shame our children. You can probably guess what they sound like. Here are a few phrases that heap on the contempt and shame: – What the hell were you thinking?– What’s wrong with you?– Who do you think you are?– You are so rude/bad/lazy….– I wish you…

Read more Unintentionally Shaming Children

Good Job!!!“Good job” can be like a throw away phrase. You don’t even have to look at your kid… You can just say good job while you glance up from your computer.Also if it’s the only thing a parent says in response to a child looking for feedback… A lot of good opportunities are missed.…

Read more Stop Saying “Good Job”

If I were to take a guess as to why a lot sibling rivalry occurs it would be this. First of all, I think a certain amount of conflict is natural and healthy… But I’m talking about ongoing persistent, hurtful and getting in the way of a generally peaceful home type of conflict. My guess…

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The apple may not fall far from the tree. 🍎🌳. If your child is defensive, and combative, you may be defensive and combative and hurt too. (That’s what defensiveness is. It’s hurt and pain bottled up and then projected out). In essence, the environment (the parent’s own hurt and defensiveness) can teach the child how…

Read more A defensive and “disagreeable” Child

How to deal with a child who is defensive and does not take well to correction? If this is the case, the child may have been over corrected or been corrected in a way that lacks connection. Eventually, enough of this kind of correction will lead to a loss of relationship capital. The parent will…

Read more Dealing with a Defensive Child

“Ｉ ＮＥＥＤ ＹＯＵ ＴＯ _______ “ In the context of parenting, I don’t use this phrasing. It doesn’t feel right. In general, I don’t actually “need” my child to finish his vegetables or to have a shower. I definitely have needs. But they don’t so much involve my children. Also, I see them as my…

Read more “I NEED YOU TO ________”

“When my child whines and cries it drives me nuts and I want to either shut them down or avoid them” It looks like the child’s distress causes you distress. If we parents (when we were children) never learned to fully SELF regulate, to identify and balance our own emotions, then we as adults will…

Read more Whining and Crying Drive me Nuts!

There are no Tips and Tricks to get your child to stop being rude, behaving badly and to be kinder and more cooperative. The problem is bigger than TIPs or tricks. The truth is (with few exceptions) this: If there is an ongoing challenge in your home with behavior, is it is deeper than simple…

Read more #1 Parenting Tip of All Time