I knew that I wasn’t providing the best, most stable and loving environment possible. I wanted to do better. I implemented exercises to increase my self awareness and self control. I outlined my values, and implemented strategies to stick to them. I got on the right path and still regularly reflect upon my hopes and…
Own your behavior fully and completely. Owning your behavior means not making excuses for it. Owning your behavior means not blaming someone else for it. Owning your behavior focuses on your actions, not on the actions of someone else. The reason why you lost your cool is not because someone made you lose your cool.…
Looking back, I had no idea that having kids would bring to the surface so many intense emotions and judgement that was simmering inside of me. But, kids have this remarkable ability to poke at our sore spots relentlessly. It felt like my hot buttons were constantly being pushed. I was not ready for this.…
When I finally stopped blaming my kids and my situation for my poor parenting choices, I felt a heavy weight of responsibility. These are the thoughts that ran through my head: “What have I done?” “Why is this so hard?” “Why can’t I control myself?” “Why can’t I be better than I am being?” “I…
Fathers, Listen to your daughters. Hear them. Really hear them. Spend time with them and be 100 per cent present. Ask their opinion on things. Listen to their no’s and their yes’s. From what age you ask? From birth. A little girl who has grown up being respected, valued, and loved will look for this…
My children’s behaviour was really important to me. I saw it as a direct reflection on me. Well behaved kids equaled good parenting is what I thought. Poorly behaved kids equaled bad parenting. I have come to recognize this as an insecure approach to parenting and I’ll tell you why. What I thought was strong, turned…
I’ve been part of various men’s groups, retreats and workshops. I’ve noticed an overriding theme that is consistent. It is this: growth comes from emotional safety (acceptance), personal responsibility (internal motivation), and consistent support (loving accountability). In these groups, how we deal with people is to offer listening and then support. The listening is non-judgmental and…
Wouldn’t it be nice if our kids listened and then did what we asked? How is this more likely to happen? Here are some things that will help: Connect before you direct. Relate to and be interested in what your child is doing before giving instructions. Speak clearly and concisely. Choose your words wisely. Your words…
Here are the reasons children whine: # 1 Their needs aren’t being met and they don’t have the knowledge, skills, or the option (or power) to fix it themselves. #2 They don’t have the language to put it all together in a coherent mature sentence and ask for the right kind of help that will…
SEL might be able to help. SEL is the acronym for “Social Emotional Learning”. SEL is an approach and framework being used to help children (and adults) acquire and effectively manage emotions. It is a skill building process that aims to increase one’s emotional intelligence. SEL programs result in improvements in the following areas: academics,…
