I know adults that struggle with feelings of not feeling good enough, not feeling acceptable, or they feel they need someone else’s approval in order for them to feel okay. How does this happen? A sober thought crossed my mind: Could the answer lie in parenting? Do parents inadvertently teach children that they are not…
…as you would have others do unto you. I had a conversation with another parent the other day. She mentioned a moment where her daughter spilled a glass of juice. Her typical response would have been to yell, to blame, to huff, snort or something like that, she said. In this particular moment she didn’t…
For myself, I’ve noticed one of three things is happening: 1. I’m carrying stress over from other parts of my life into the current moment. This primarily happens when I perceive that something negative has happened to me. The fix is to deal with these unsavoury moments… in the moment, rather than bringing it home. This…
“The onus of responsibility for the smooth running of the family rests squarely upon the shoulders of the parents”. _________________________________________________ Leaders determine the success of an organization. This is the truth. The same thing can be said for leaders in families. Blaming children for a dysfunctional or stressed out family situation is like blaming Steve in the…
Have you said this to your kids before? I have. I analyzed this statement and what I came up with is this: it’s hurtful. The tone of voice that usually accompanies this statement is one of disgust. Disgust alienates and separates, it’s a relationship killer. The asker of the question has already decided that what…
Are you aware that families often have “scapegoats”? Scapegoats are children who get frequently blamed for the negative things that happen within family. Families that pick a scapegoat often pick a “golden child,” as well. The golden child is the child that parents are often proud of, or who comes across as more helpful, less trouble…
I have worked with adults that struggle with feelings of not feeling good enough, not feeling acceptable, or that they needed someone else to approve of them in order for them to feel okay. Where did they learn that? I’ve met adults who feel they can’t speak their true voice, who aren’t living lives they…
Own your Stuff. What does that mean? Basically, it means being responsible for your thoughts, feelings, and especially actions. The good the bad and the ugly. All of it. As parents we mess up, we make mistakes, we can react angrily or lash out. It’s understandable. Parenting is hard. But the real question is, who…
Tone can be empowering, enthusiastic, trusting…hopeful. When it is, we get inspired to do great things, to be cooperative, to be the best we can be. In a similar way, the tone we set as Dads, greatly impacts the success and well being of our children. As parents, we are leaders and children will react…
“You have to be like Superman to your kids. They need to think you can do anything. You always need to come across as capable and in control.” Man to man, dad to dad, this was the wisdom my uncle passed on to me a few years ago. “I do like being capable and in…
