Drew Tupper

It might just be that parents are scared and feel threatened. Really? From a child? No… It’s hard to imagine that a child’s behavior could have me feel threatened. But that’s what happens when I react angrily. Most parents miss this and as a result miss out on addressing the root cause of their impatience…

Read more Why Parents Get Triggered

When the brain feels threatened it looks for the target of that threat, and reacts to it. Much of the work of parenting is to monitor and regulate our own state so that we do not mistake our children for threats. The difference between a regulated brain and threatened brain is staggering. A threatened person…

Read more The Self Regulated Parent

Toxic parenting leads to toxic relationships later on. How kids learn to relate when they are young repeats itself later on in adult partner relationships. Toxic parenting sounds like this: – You are making me sad/frustrated…. – Do this for mommy – You’re not sad. Stop crying. You are just trying to…. – If you…

Read more Reap What We Sow

Much conflict results from someone wanting something (or wanting to be heard), and feeling like they cannot get it from someone. Let’s take a look at what doesn’t work. What tends to intensify the conflict or prolong it is when someone communicates like this: – I don’t want to hear you (interrupt or speaking over)…

Read more How to Deal with Conflict

“I say this with love: Let go of the story of having such a difficult or disrespectful child. It’s not helping. Telling this story again and again has you looking for problems rather than solutions. It has you creating your own stressed out reality and strained relationship with your child. Your energy goes more to…

Read more Your Child is Not the Problem