Drew Tupper

A first question to ask is why is the child closed down? Opening up happens in an environment of trust and safety. Closing down happens when safety and trust are not present. So how does safety and trust get threatened? Children close down is because of feeling judged and having oneโ€™s experience/feelings diminished or invalidated.At…

Read more ๐—›๐—ผ๐˜„ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐˜ ๐˜†๐—ผ๐˜‚๐—ฟ ๐˜๐—ฒ๐—ฒ๐—ป๐—ฎ๐—ด๐—ฒ๐—ฟ (๐—ฐ๐—ต๐—ถ๐—น๐—ฑ) ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ผ๐—ฝ๐—ฒ๐—ป ๐˜‚๐—ฝ

๐‡๐จ๐ฐ ๐œ๐š๐ง ๐ˆ ๐๐ž๐š๐ฅ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฆ๐ฒ ๐œ๐ก๐ข๐ฅ๐’๐ฌ ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฌ ๐š๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐ฉ๐ฌ๐ž๐ญ? ๐๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ง๐  ๐ˆ ๐ฌ๐š๐ฒ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐จ๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž ๐ญ๐š๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฆ, ๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐ž๐ฅ๐ฉ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐ก๐ž๐ฆ ๐œ๐š๐ฅ๐ฆ ๐๐จ๐ฐ๐ง. ๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ง๐œ๐ซ๐ž๐๐ข๐›๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐Ÿ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐š๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ . ๐ˆ ๐ง๐ž๐ž๐ ๐ฌ๐จ๐ฆ๐ž ๐š๐๐ฏ๐ข๐œ๐ž!! Here is my advice: Accept that in those meltdown moments, you doing “nothing” is often better than doing something. Your job is to be present and…

Read more How to Stop a Tantrum

Good Job!!!โ€œGood jobโ€ can be like a throw away phrase. You donโ€™t even have to look at your kidโ€ฆ You can just say good job while you glance up from your computer.Also if itโ€™s the only thing a parent says in response to a child looking for feedbackโ€ฆ A lot of good opportunities are missed.…

Read more Stop Saying “Good Job”

If I were to take a guess as to why a lot sibling rivalry occurs it would be this. First of all, I think a certain amount of conflict is natural and healthyโ€ฆ But Iโ€™m talking about ongoing persistent, hurtful and getting in the way of a generally peaceful home type of conflict. My guess…

Read more Sibling Rivalry

“๏ผฉ ๏ผฎ๏ผฅ๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผด๏ผฏ _______ “ In the context of parenting, I don’t use this phrasing. It doesn’t feel right. In general, I don’t actually “need” my child to finish his vegetables or to have a shower. I definitely have needs. But they don’t so much involve my children. Also, I see them as my…

Read more “I NEED YOU TO ________”