Especially for men who learn toward anxious attachment and codependence. Breathe some life into your sex life. I’ve coached many men on this with great results. Of course there is more to it, but here are a few tips to get you started.
- Codependence is a killer. It will ruin your sex life. Don’t be codependent. Here is how not to be:
* Get resourced outside of the relationship. Don’t rely on your partner to be the only support for your entire emotional world. Get a coach, join a men’s group, get some good support.
* If you are joined at the digital hip: Take more space. Less calling, less texting, less checking in.
* Become emotionally sovereign. Stop being so intertwined in her emotions. You are responsible for you.
- Don’t be a “Nice Guy”. Nice guys are safe, but not attractive. Pick up a copy of Dr. Glover’s book: No More Mr. Nice Guy, especially if you find the title offensive.
* Recognize that you have a problem with being a pleaser
* Recognize that you have a problem with being an approval seeker
* Recognize that these things are driving her away
- Become attractive to yourself. Seriously. Become inspired by who you are and what you are doing. Be the man who you would admire. It will be hard for you to feel sexy and for your partner to find you sexy, if you don’t have confidence and you don’t feel attractive to you.
* What is the low hanging fruit for you to become more of the man you want to be?
* Take control of you life. Have a direction, purpose, and vision.
* Have boundaries that communicate that you value yourself.