If you treat your partner poorly… If you successfully control him/her… if you nitpick and talk down to your partner and he or she takes it…

Your partner will then likely do the same with your kids. And then your kids will also start doing it will each other. Lots of sibling rivalry is learned behavior.

And then one day, the kids will start doing it to the parents. Because they have learned by example. In a “power over” kind of home the game will be to look for the weakest link and to attack it.

It makes for a nasty environment. It usually involves lots of arguing and blaming. It’s is a shitty kind of game to play.

But who does this? Who creates an environment like this? No one on purpose I think. People with anxiety will try to control their partners (and their external environment) so that they themselves feel safe.

It doesn’t work of course. Because no amount of control over someone can heal the fear and anxiety within.
They justify the control and the tight leash they have their partners on in the name of efficiency and getting things done and that they know best.

They don’t see 👀 themselves. They are blind to the environment they create.

Unfortunately, there are many relationships like this. It is the one who is being controlled that will more likely see themself in this post.

And if you do, know that there are ways to extricate yourself, to create a new kind of reality, and sometimes a new kind of relationship and environment.

But it starts with creating a new kind of relationship to yourself… creating a new kind of environment within you

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