I’m going to be honest with you. I am going to shoot from the hip. Not because I am trying to be mean, but because I respect you enough to tell you the truth, and because I want to help.
There is an epidemic of Nice Guys in the world.
But what is wrong with Nice you might ask? (btw – nice isn’t the same thing as kind)
Here is what is wrong with it:
Although nice guys present as kind, considerate, and agreeable, they do so to gain favor with the person they are interacting with.
“I’ll play nice if you give me what I want”… this is the unspoken deal that nice guys make.
There is an agenda behind the behavior. Their behavior is transactional.
When they don’t get what they want from their indirect ways of behaving, nice guys feel resentful or disappointed that being nice isn’t getting them what they want.
Nice guys tend not to have success in dating women or in success in career that they would like.
In relationships, nice guys often end lacking two major things: respect, and a healthy sexual connection.
If you are a nice guy, you likely are not in a sexually fulfilling, or otherwise fulfilling relationship.
– Nice guys seek approval above all else
– Nice guys are needy
– Nice guys are indirect
– Nice guys are actually manipulative and controlling
– Nice guys are transactional
– Nice guys lack self love and confidence
– Nice guys don’t know how to stand for what they believe
– Nice guys are not trustable
– Nice guys are ashamed of their needs
– Nice guys don’t actually do a good job of hearing their partners because they are too busy making it mean something about themselves
Nice guys think that that they are being kind. They are not.
They think that being nice and indirect is better than being assertive and being direct. It is not.
Being assertive and being direct is honest and full of integrity.
Nice…. is shady.
Nice guy behavior is not sexy. It is not attractive. It does not draw a partner in, it repels.
Do you need help with some of what you have read here?
Don’t be ashamed. I am a recovering nice guy.
There are reasons nice guys are the way they are.
They (we) were conditioned to be like this. We were trained to be like this.
It can be undone. On the other side is Self love, Confidence, and Purpose. And Sexy relationship!!
Are you ready for this shift?