Stop Saying “Good Job”

Good Job!!!“Good job” can be like a throw away phrase. You don’t even have to look at your kid… You can just say good job while you glance up from your computer.Also if it’s the only thing a parent says in response to a child looking for feedback…

A lot of good opportunities are missed.

When a child says “look at this/me” we can respond with other things such as:

– Good for you
– Looks like you worked hard on that
– Look at what you did
– What do you think?
– Can you tell me how you did that?
– I noticed that you did X- What is this here?
– Can you tell me about this ….?
– What were you thinking when you did this?
– You look excited. Did that feel good?
– How did you learn how to do that?
– What did you learn from doing it?

“Good job” isn’t going to ruin our children, but there are many other things to do and say to engage with /connect with/empower your child.

One of the things I like doing the most is empowering my children to think for themselves and to become self-aware. A lot of my questions are meant to help my children think about themselves, their experience and their own learnings.

Children want to be seen and heard and valued. What they want is your presence. They want to be noticed.

Good presence starts with the body. Slow down, breathe and square up to your child, give your child attention and eye contact, and a smile. Engage! Be curious about them and their world. This fills their cup like nothing else.

Happy parenting


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