2020

When the brain feels threatened it looks for the target of that threat, and reacts to it. Much of the work of parenting is to monitor and regulate our own state so that we do not mistake our children for threats. The difference between a regulated brain and threatened brain is staggering. A threatened person…

Read more The Self Regulated Parent

Humility is a gift, and it’s when I’ve learned the most, about myself and this world. But many of us run from this, the chance to be humbled. We built up defenses to avoid the very thing that can set us free and crack us open. These defenses stop us from experiencing the greatest gifts…

Read more Humility allows for learning

Let’s say I was able to go back in time and talk to my old self. Past Drew would not like all this talk of self-regulation and personal responsibility. It was clear to Past Drew that the kids were the problem. Past Drew spent a lot of time worried about the behavior of his children.…

Read more Future Drew Meets Past Drew

Toxic parenting leads to toxic relationships later on. How kids learn to relate when they are young repeats itself later on in adult partner relationships. Toxic parenting sounds like this: – You are making me sad/frustrated…. – Do this for mommy – You’re not sad. Stop crying. You are just trying to…. – If you…

Read more Reap What We Sow

Much conflict results from someone wanting something (or wanting to be heard), and feeling like they cannot get it from someone. Let’s take a look at what doesn’t work. What tends to intensify the conflict or prolong it is when someone communicates like this: – I don’t want to hear you (interrupt or speaking over)…

Read more How to Deal with Conflict

“I say this with love: Let go of the story of having such a difficult or disrespectful child. It’s not helping. Telling this story again and again has you looking for problems rather than solutions. It has you creating your own stressed out reality and strained relationship with your child. Your energy goes more to…

Read more Your Child is Not the Problem

I personally love the idea of having specific challenges and rising to a challenge. Having parents and mentors who have challenged me has changed my life so much for the better. Peaceful parenting or Conscious parenting is not void of challenge. From my experience, children like challenge and like people to challenge and encourage them. …

Read more Challenge your Children

All of your relationships are a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself. You are the common denominator. Your relationships are a mirror for how you think about yourself and treat yourself. This is especially true for close relationships like with spouses or children. So? What do your outward relationships indicate about the inner…

Read more All of your relationships