With self regulation, the feeling of the threat dissipates and maturity and perspective can return. Instead of reactivity, there is calm. There is connection. There is mature guidance.
This is the sweet spot of parenting. What do we get when we have a home filled with maturity and guidance instead of reactivity and blame? I can tell you. It’s night and day. It is enjoyment versus resentment.
So much of parenting in the past has concerned itself with the behavior of children. This is not the real work of parenting as I see it.. It wasn’t for me. I’ve learned that Self regulation of the parent is the most important thing in parenting. Leading by example is the real teacher to our children. As it turns out, parenting is actually about the parent.
(Do you want to dig more deeply into this topic? Do you want support to get to that more mature place?)