The apple may not fall far from the tree. ๐๐ณ. If your child is defensive, and combative, you may be defensive and combative and hurt too. (That’s what defensiveness is. It’s hurt and pain bottled up and then projected out). In essence, the environment (the parent’s own hurt and defensiveness) can teach the child how…
How to deal with a child who is defensive and does not take well to correction? If this is the case, the child may have been over corrected or been corrected in a way that lacks connection. Eventually, enough of this kind of correction will lead to a loss of relationship capital. The parent will…
“๏ผฉ ๏ผฎ๏ผฅ๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผด๏ผฏ _______ “ In the context of parenting, I don’t use this phrasing. It doesn’t feel right. In general, I don’t actually “need” my child to finish his vegetables or to have a shower. I definitely have needs. But they don’t so much involve my children. Also, I see them as my…
โWhen my child whines and cries it drives me nuts and I want to either shut them down or avoid them. Help!โ It looks like the childโs distress leads to your distress. If we parents never learned to fully SELF regulate, to identify and balance our own emotions, then we as adults will take on…
There are no Tips and Tricks to get your child to stop being rude, behaving badly and to be kinder and more cooperative. The problem is bigger than TIPs or tricks. The truth is (with few exceptions) this: If there is an ongoing challenge in your home with behavior, is it is deeper than simple…
๐๐ค๐ฟ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: ๐ณ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ก๐๐๐๐๐๐ (๐ช๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ’๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ช๐ฌ๐ฆ)๐ค๐ค Write a letter to yourself expressing, empathy, validation, and compassion…to you.I know that you might think that you have to be hard on you, but more being hard on yourself likely isn’t going to get you where you want to go. It may…
Have you ever had a hard time setting limits with your child? I have. I have had a hard time wondering what kind of limit is appropriate and also being consistent, and helping my children understand the bigger picture. So, I created a series of questions to get me/you thinking. Answer these questions and you’ll…
In the coaching I do, I talk about behavior issues with parents. Most of the behavior issues I’ve helped parents with seem to get resolved when parents learn how to consistently meet the core needs of their children. These three needs seem to pop up again and again: Connection (love, affection, attention, validation) Predictability…
It is because we feel threatened. From a child? Yes. Or at least from the emotions that are coming up when dealing with a child. It’s hard to imagine that a child’s behavior could have me feel threatened. But that’s what happens when I react angrily. It is the fight of the fight or flight…
Do you get annoyed or angry when your child says “No” to you. “No” from a child can feel like a threat and it’s because of this. Power differential, status, and ego. Those on the lower rungs of the hierarchy ladder (Children, among others) are not expected to, or allowed to have much of their…