2020

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The apple may not fall far from the tree. ๐ŸŽ๐ŸŒณ. If your child is defensive, and combative, you may be defensive and combative and hurt too. (That’s what defensiveness is. It’s hurt and pain bottled up and then projected out). In essence, the environment (the parent’s own hurt and defensiveness) can teach the child how…

Read more A defensive and “disagreeable” Child

“๏ผฉ ๏ผฎ๏ผฅ๏ผฅ๏ผค ๏ผน๏ผฏ๏ผต ๏ผด๏ผฏ _______ “ In the context of parenting, I don’t use this phrasing. It doesn’t feel right. In general, I don’t actually “need” my child to finish his vegetables or to have a shower. I definitely have needs. But they don’t so much involve my children. Also, I see them as my…

Read more “I NEED YOU TO ________”

๐Ÿ˜Ÿ๐Ÿ˜ค๐™ฟ๐šŠ๐š›๐šŽ๐š—๐š๐šœ ๐š ๐š‘๐š˜ ๐šŠ๐š›๐šŽ ๐š‘๐šŠ๐š›๐š ๐š˜๐š— ๐š๐š‘๐šŽ๐š–๐šœ๐šŽ๐š•๐šŸ๐šŽ๐šœ: ๐™ณ๐š˜ ๐š๐š‘๐š’๐šœ ๐šŽ๐šก๐šŽ๐š›๐šŒ๐š’๐šœ๐šŽ (๐˜ช๐˜ง ๐˜บ๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ’๐˜ฅ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ)๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค Write a letter to yourself expressing, empathy, validation, and compassion…to you.I know that you might think that you have to be hard on you, but more being hard on yourself likely isn’t going to get you where you want to go. It may…

Read more Compassion opens doors you never knew existed

In the coaching I do, I talk about behavior issues with parents.   Most of the behavior issues I’ve helped parents with seem to get resolved when parents learn how to consistently meet the core needs of their children. These three needs seem to pop up again and again: Connection (love, affection, attention, validation) Predictability…

Read more Behavior Problem or a Needs Problem?

It is because we feel threatened. From a child? Yes. Or at least from the emotions that are coming up when dealing with a child. It’s hard to imagine that a child’s behavior could have me feel threatened. But that’s what happens when I react angrily. It is the fight of the fight or flight…

Read more Why Parents Get Triggered