DON’T LIKE YOUR JOB? DON’T LIKE YOUR MARRIAGE? KIDS ANNOYING YOU?
But this is the life you chose and continue to choose. What message are you sending yourself by disliking or complaining about that which you are choosing?
Also, have you noticed that the common denominator in your life is you?
I am a fan of radical personal responsibility.
This is what I have discovered. I am at least part creator of whatever relationship or situation I choose to be in. In many cases, if the relationship or situation has gone south, it is because of me too. So, now I take stock, take the opportunity to understand my role in how it got to that point. It can be hard. But it’s better than complaining or blaming.
Why? By putting responsibility on someone else, I don’t get to learn. I take an opportunity away from myself.
BLAMING IS EASY. IT’S PLAYED OUT. THERE IS NO GROWTH THERE.
Taking responsibility for your end of the deal is where it’s at. That is the road to integrated wholeness. Taking responsibility includes owning your side of things, learning and growing from it.
Don’t twist this the wrong way. It doesn’t mean tolerating abuse. Taking responsibility for yourself includes standing up for yourself and asserting yourself, and ending things when they need to be ended.
The challenging thing here is to consider that we could be the creators of the difficult situations 💩 that we are standing in.
There is opportunity everywhere, everyday to become more of the person you want to be. YES it is a challenge to to own your shit and name it. It’s also hard to assert yourself and walk your own path. But that is the price to pay for self respect and meaning.
Self respect and meaning is what allows me to get up in the morning with a smile on my face, and love and purpose in my heart. And it is a feeling that is so deep and enduring that I don’t need distractions and pick me ups to help me feel whole.
It might feel counterintuitive. It might feel exposed and vulnerable to own your shit 100%, to lay it all out on the table and to take a serious look at your life and where you might be running immature patterns and avoiding responsibility. Well, it is exposed and vulnerable. I won’t lie. But it is so cleansing and refreshing that you won’t ever want to go back.
Complaining and blaming are signs of being stuck in an immature and disempowered state. Your life reflects your language and your language becomes your life.
Are you pissed of yet? Good. This message may be particularly useful for you if you are regularly complaining about others, defensive, writing off people as “too toxic” to handle…and if this post bothers you.
Everytime you complain or blame, it is a reflection of how secure and good you feel about yourself. It is an externalization of your own discomfort and discontent. It’s okay to feel discontent, but owning it will serve you so much better than projecting it onto someone else. This is my experience anyway.
No amount of deferring distracting from my pain ever allowed me to move through it.
So? What are your blind spots? Where are you still running away from responsibility? How are you limiting you, by trying to make someone else responsible for you and your current state?
Do you have a place where you can look at your shit, or get called on your shit…in a loving way to support you moving forward?