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Getting help and improving on your parenting is hard to do. This is why:
1. 👉 Self examination is a sensitive and tender thing. It is hard to look at blind spots. We’ve kept them blind for a reason. We don’t like to look at them. It is uncomfortable to highlight areas in need of improvement.
2. 👉 In highlighting areas where you want to improve there may come a realization of how you have not been your best or how you might have even hurt your child(ren). Although this is necessary to move forward, it is hard to take.
3. 👉 If not done with the right focus, self improvement can feel like pointing out what’s not right. It can feel like blame. It can feel like not doing a good enough job. The right kind of coaching focuses on what you can do better.
4. 👉 It can feel like a loss of authority and control. “I don’t want anyone inserting themselves into my family and telling me what to do”. Yes. I understand this one. However, a respectful coach can really help you improve in ways that you want to improve.
5. 👉 It can feel like an invasion of privacy. “My family is my family, I don’t need a anyone poking their nose around.” The right coach will respect you and your choices. You will not feel intruded upon.
6. 👉 It can feel humbling. I had the idea that I should be able to figure things out on my own. I didn’t want to “need” anyone. I didn’t want to be seen as incompetent or unable to figure things out. I didn’t want to pay for any help. I get it. Asking for help is hard, but if it’s time, it’s time.
There are a lot of reasons to avoid improving on parenting. I have felt them all. But I have also felt the pull to improve my parenting for my children. Even if it was uncomfortable doing it, I just knew it was the right thing to do.