One of the things that see in coaching parents who want to go from angry to calm and connected is this: a lot of anger comes from resentment. The resentment comes from one’s life not going the way he or she wants. Work, relationships, health, even how they parent…none of it is quite working out how they want. There is often a feeling that they don’t have control over these things, and that bad things are happening to them. The bulk of their anger comes from struggle and resentment, not actually the children.
I remember that feeling, feeling like I didn’t have control and that I was a victim of crappy circumstance. It was incredibly frustrating.
The truth is that we do have control over how we live our lives. When we assert ourselves in the right direction, life can be fulfilling and rewarding. We do have choice. One of the biggest choices we have is: how am I going to live? Do I want to cultivate reward or regret. Learn from those who have done it before. Here are the top 5 regrets of the dying. What can you do to make sure you are on the right path. Do you need support?
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.
* The abridge list was taken from a Huffington Post Article