“You are not Good the way you are” This is the core wound many of us have…and sadly pass on. Above all else, children want to feel affection and acceptance from their parents and caregivers. This is what most parents instinctively give their new babies. I know that my instinct was to hold and cuddle,…
Read more Wounded Adults – Hurt Children
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I don’t think all praise is bad and that external recognition will necessarily ruin our children. I understand that we live in a society that commonly recognizes people for accomplishments. Families celebrate success and achievement as do communities, and workplaces. It can be done tactfully. If done in an appreciative and genuine manner, it is…
Read more On Praise
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I hope to teach my children… To love themselves, be true to themselves, be responsible for themselves, and believe in themselves…and then to act from this place, always. Then, to love others, be true to others, empower others, and believe in others…and then act from this place, always. Parents teach this by BEING this. How…
Read more Most Important Lessons
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I knew that I wasn’t providing the best, most stable and loving environment possible. I wanted to do better. I implemented exercises to increase my self awareness and self control. I outlined my values, and implemented strategies to stick to them. I got on the right path and still regularly reflect upon my hopes and…
Read more When I First Tried to Change
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Whenever I lose my cool, this is what I remember. I own my behavior fully and completely. Owning my behavior means not making excuses for it. Owning my behavior means not blaming someone else for it. Owning my behavior focuses on my actions, not on the actions of someone else. The reason why I lost…
Read more Full Ownership Parenting
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Looking back, I had no idea that having kids would bring to the surface so many intense emotions and judgement that was simmering inside of me. But, kids have this remarkable ability to poke at our sore spots relentlessly. It felt like my hot buttons were constantly being pushed. I was not ready for this.…
Read more Triggered
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When I finally stopped blaming my kids and my situation for my poor parenting choices, I felt a heavy weight of responsibility. These are the thoughts that ran through my head: “What have I done?” “Why is this so hard?” “Why can’t I control myself?” “Why can’t I be better than I am being?” “I…
Read more Damage Control
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