For myself, I’ve noticed one of three things is happening:
1. I’m carrying stress over from other parts of my life into the current moment.
This primarily happens when I perceive that something negative has happened to me. The fix is to deal with these unsavoury moments… in the moment, rather than bringing it home. This requires you to be present, assertive and be willing to voice the truth of who you are, to anyone and everyone. Either that, or accept what is happening and move on. It’s the unresolved stuff that creates the stress. Key here is recognizing that you do have a choice in how you react and what you do with difficult moments. You are an empowered individual. Bringing unrelated stress and frustrations home and taking it out on the kids (and spouses) is unfortunately really common. The ones close to us end up being the easy target.
2. I haven’t been paying attention to myself and my own needs.
Your daily activities have a lot to do with your emotional and mental health. Important here is Diet, Sleep, Exercise, Meditation, Creativity, Physical Movement, Expression, Supportive Relationships, Intimate contact, Service, Time in Nature… We are human. We need certain things. If you don’t get those things, your body and mind will let you know. Are you loving yourself? Is your tank low, med, or full?
3. My belief system needs adjustment.
If I have expectations for myself that are out of whack, out of line, and/or not realistic, then negativity and frustration is inevitable. If I have expectations for my children that are similarly problematic, then negativity and frustration is inevitable when I deal with them. If I have a view of the world, myself and my kids that is negative, I will experience the world like this. You get more of what you focus on.
If I have a belief of myself that I am okay the way that I am, I am learning, that I have choice, and can do things to make my life better…then positivity results. If I have a similar view of my children that they are good, they are learning and I can help them learn through love, then this changes the whole game.