Drew Tupper Leadership Coaching

Son: mommy, why are you mean to me?

Mom: What, I’m not mean to you? What do you mean, mean? Sweetie, you think I’m mean to you? Really?

Son: well, you talk to me differently than you talk to other people?

Mom: What do you mean differently?

Son: …you always seem angry at me.

Mom: I’m not ALWAYS angry with you… I just get frustrated that’s all.  I loose my patience from time to time.

Son: why you don’t get frustrated with other people or loose patience with other people?

Mom: Ahh…well… I do sometimes, but…I can’t just go around yelling at people at work or at the store or at the bank.

Son:  so, why do you yell at me then?

Mom: Umm, well.  you see.  You are my responsibility and other people aren’t my children.

Son: so why do Mommys and Daddys get to yell at their children?

Mom: You are 3 years old.  Why are we having this conversation?  I have to cook dinner now and, do the laundry, and your sister will be getting up from her nap soon.

Son: you are starting to do it again.

Mom: What?

Son: i don’t like your voice

Mom: What voice?  This is my voice.  My voice is my voice.

Son:  no.  It changed.  The sound of your voice changed.   It sounds like you don’t like me again.

Mom: What? I LOVE you!  I love you soooo much.   Is that what you think when I talk like that… you think I don’t like you?

Son:  … yes, (crying and sniffling) that’s what it feels like.

Mom: Oh my gosh.   I’m so sorry.   I don’t know what to say.  I don’t want you to feel like that. (Hug)

Son: can’t you just talk to me like you talk to other people? nicely?

Mom: Ahh.   Yes. Well,   I’m going to try.  I’ll try really hard.   But you might have to help me. Can you help me?

Son: i love helping!

Mom: You are too much…Okay, so, if you notice my voice changing, you can just tell me. You can ask me to speak nicely to you.  And I’ll try.

Son: great!!

Mom: But I might need your help cooperating, or I might need to take a break to recharge my batteries?

Son: you have batteries?

Mom: Ha! no, but, I might need to take a five minute break to lie down or just be by myself.   That would really help me.   Do you think we could do that?

Son: okay.  I can play lego when you do that.

Mom: You are amazing sweetie.  I’m going to try.  I’m going to try harder.  Why do I feel like sometimes you are the parent and I’m the child?

Son: what?  I’m not your parent.  That’s crazy.

Mom: Ha! but, ya  sometimes it feels like…I love you.

Son:  i love you too Mommy.